Hogwarts Musical
by Lily Taylor2
Summary: (Probably spoilers) beware!
1. Chapter 1

(Sarcastic)Harry Potter loves his life!

* * *

Music: Power, by Little Mix

Harry; ( _sighs)_ (speaks under breathe) I hate that fat lil cow...

(Music plays)

 **Dudley** ; NOW NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY!

 **Uncle Vernon;** DONT BE GRATEFUL AND ILL MAKE YOU PAY!

 **Aunt Petunia;** UNDER THIS ROOF THAT YOU SHALL STAY!

 **Harry;** that is unreasonable can't you wait?!

 **Vernon;** I'm really strong and you know it..

Get in the car and my temper won't blow it..

( _Harry gets in thecar and they are in the museum)_

 **Harry;** _(in parseltounge)_ Wow Wow! Look at the snakes!

 **Dudley;** OH NO IM TRAPPED IN ITS CAGE

and it's all his fault! ( _Points at Harry)_

 **Vernon;** you're grounded till you clot!

(They're home and it's Sunday or Saturday, it's hard to tell)

 **Harry;** and I should know..

Why I have this spot on my throat..!

I love to watch the news-

( _The family interrupts)_

 **Dursleys; (** screaming) OH NOOO!

(Mail comes thrashing through the windows)

(Music... _blah blah)_

 _(Harry grabs an envolope)_

 _(Music stops)_

 **Vernon;** THATS IT

(Takes Harry to island)

(Sleeps)


	2. Scene Two

( _Music: Heathens, from 21 pilots)_

(Music)

 **Harry;** it's my birthday and no one is celebrating...

I'd ask the lot but it seems they're waiting..

My scar.. it's an ugly thing..

Gosh..! I think I see a wing!

(Music gets quieter)

(Dursleys wake up)

 **Dursleyys;** _ **AGHHH**_

 _ **(Music gets louder)**_

 **Hagrid;** Harry yer a wizzerd you should know..

Here's yer cake that is kind of cold..

 **Harry;** I'm a wot? This is so con- fu- zi- ing

(Music gets quieter)

(They sail to London over a lake coz why not)

(Harry Ron, Hermione meet on the train)

 **Harry;** why does my scar sizzle and I get pain..?

I pluck the courage and face the day again...

Omg, a microscopic pen!

(Music ends)


	3. Chapter 3

(Music; No, from Megan Trainor)

(Everyone's exited for the sorting of the hat, loud mumbling)

 **Draco;** don't hang with _them,_ hang out with cool ppl like me..!

 **Harry;** I like my friends, thanks

 **Draco;** WOT DID U SAY?!

McGonnagle; EVERYONE! Time for the sorting bishes!

Ron!

(Gryffindore)

Hermione!

(Raven- [hesitates] Gryffindore!)

Harry Potter!

(Music starts) 

**Harry;** be _your_ friend? NO.

 **Draco;** she's a mudbloo-

 _(Hermione interrupts)_

 **Ron,Harry, Hermione;** NO.

 **Santa;** Am I skinny?

 **Ron;** NO.

You need to let it go!

(Let it go..)

(Need to say no..)

(Say no..)

 **All professors;** (they twerk) Lada la la dada doo doo doo..!

 **Harry;** all my besties, listen up..

If you didn't hit Draco hard enough..

Show yourself and you'll be sent to JAY-AL ( **jail** )

I'll tell ya, I'll tell ya, nonono!

(Music stops, they begin the sorting)


	4. Chapter Four

(Ages ago, Harry got chosen seeker, the _youngest_ seeker ever, and really good too. It is now Christmas, and Harry is snoring loudly)

(Music; I can show you the world, from Aladdin)

Ron; Harry, hey Harry!  
Wake up!

(Harry wakes up, but is going through sleep paralysis. He eventually starts talking.)

Harry; PHEW I COULDNT BREATHE...  
Ron; Harry?  
Harry; just sleep paralysis..  
What did you wanna tell me..?

Ron; ITS CHRISTMAS!

(Music plays)

 **Ron;** I can show you my gifts..  
Even you got some too-oo..  
Tell me Harry how did you survive,  
From You-Know-Whoo-oo

 **Harry;** I can't show you my past..  
But I heard Lily say 'YOU ARE POO-OO!'  
I shall open my gifts now..  
A CLOAK.. what does it doo-oo..?  
(Music makes static noises and stops)

(Harry wraps cloak around him)  
Harry; how does it look?  
Ron; uhh (pulls signature face)  
Harry; it can't be that bad.. ( _he looks down)_ HOLY COW THIS COULD BE USEFUL!

(Manager behind stage; sorry!)  
(Music starts again)  
 **(Hermione bursts in)**

 ****

 **Hermione;** A WHOLE NEW CLOAK!  
A NEW ADVENTURE WAITING FOR ME  
(Harry & Ron; And me!)  
 **Ron;** NO ONE CAN TELL US ALL...  
WHERE TO FALL

 **Harry;** now that I'm in a whole new world with you.. (Ron and Harry begin to kiss)  
(Music stops, _again)_

 _(_ A guy against gays and lesbies comes out of the dark)  
 **Guy against gays and lesbians;** CUT! STOP STOP THATS GAY!  
(He vanishes and music plays as if nothing happened)  
(Everyone 'awwws')  
 **Everyone;** A WHOLE NEW PLOT!  
A WHOLE NER PLACE TO KISS AND SORT..  
THE HOGWARTS HOUSES...  
AND THIS DIDNT MAKE _ANY sense..._

 __

(Everyone bows and goes offstage(  
Music stops


	5. Chapter 5

Music: watch outscooby doo

* * *

*collects the stone of bringing ppl back to life-ness*

Harry; _on the way to dorm_

 __

(Music starts)

 **Ron;** WATCH OUT HARRY DOO  
HES COMING AFTER YOU  
YOU-KNOW-WHO IS HERE NOW.

 **Hermione;** WATCH OUT HARRY DOO  
OR HE'L KILL YOU...

 **Dumbledore;** NA NA NA NA NA  
 **Hufflepuffs;** Na na na na na

 **(Slytherins;** Voldemort please kill him..)

 **Gryffindores;** DA DA DA DA DA  
 **Ravenclaws;** da da da da da

 **Luna;** (really dreamy voice) Harry, he's coming after you...!

 **Ron;** watch out dumbledoo  
Harry's coming to come to you  
I wonder why he's upset now!

 **Dumbledore;** Harry what you got?  
 **Harry;** A red stone it's really hot!  
 **Dumbledore;** you also killed Volde-morrrttt!

 **Hermione;** NA NA NA NA NA  
 **Ron;** NA NA NA NA NA  
 **Harry;** Professoryou're really cool!


End file.
